An idea has been promoted that we offer a memorial service for those who have lost children/grandchildren through abortion, miscarriage, still births or infant death. In this week's E-News I wrote.
Memorial Service
Recently Rev. Ray wrote a blog post about abortion. It caused many of us to think. A member wrote Rev. Ray with an idea. We are moving forward with it because it was so timely and a God thing.
On Sunday evening, September 9th, at 6 pm, in the Sanctuary, we will hold a memorial service for those who have been touched with the loss of life through abortion, miscarriages or still birth. We hold funerals/memorial services for people of all ages but rarely do we gather to celebrate and mourn for those we never get to hold their children/grandchildren or hold them for such a brief moment. If you are interested, if this touches your heart, please contact Rev. Ray and tell him you plan to attend.
Now my question for this post. Would a brief study before the memorial service on healing and other aspects of the process be helpful before the service? We could meet for two or three weeks and then have the memorial service? Your ideas?
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Bill and I have sent two children to heaven ahead of us. We named the first one Robin and the second is Pat. We did not know the gender of either. We planted a tree for each child, and have spoken of them to their siblings. We all look forward to meeting two more of the Patterson gang when we arrive at the LORD's house.
We will be out of town celebrating our anniversary the night of the memorial service, but we will remember our missing children as we watch the sunset over the Chesapeake while you are remembering here in Bowie.
The more I pray on this and the more that people send me e-mails and make comments the more I see this ministry opportunity as larger than I had in mind.
At this point I am thinking about postponing the memorial service and 1) offer this regionally, 2) offer a grief support group, 3) ask some professionals to come along side us and 4) hold a service where individuals may mourn and celebrate the life lost.
Any ideas?
I think it's a beautiful idea. I think we should also use this Memorial Service (or regional activity) to also intercede for our country, praying for forgiveness, healing, and peace for those who committed the act and those who opted for it in all the nation.
"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." -2 Chronicles 7:14.
What a blessed idea, Pastor.
Rev. Ray,
If I were still in Maryland (now in Black River Falls, Wis.), I'd be at the memorial service, as I think it's a fine idea that can bring comfort to many families.
Here are two Web sites that might be helpful as you plan:
http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/
and
http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/index.htm
Is it a good idea to have mourners of miscarriage with mourners of abortion? They are two VERY different things--Comments and prayers that are made could be hurtful--even when they are not intended to.
The last comment brings many thoughts to mind as we work through this together. We will pray about this and ask what would be the best way to remember the loses of folks in many categories.
Readers, how would we handle this in discussion before the service and for the service?
We have walked through the grief of miscarriage ourselves alone, with no support from others. We sought out help from Bethany Christian Services at the time, only to find that none was available.
Although painful at the time, the only way I could deal with it was to push the events away. We don't discuss it, and we've come to terms with the losses in silence and isolation. I therefore don't think that a memorial service would be of any benefit for people like us.
But isn't the idea that having a memorial service would be opening the door to start feeling the pain. Not feeling the pain is not healing, it's just stuffing it, saving it for later! Would it not help to start the healing? I would think that it would be a beautiful thing to not only let the body come along beside you but to have other couples who have experienced the same pain wrap their arms around you and be able to identify with you! You may be able to help others too!!
I am so sorry that the body was not there for you! I wonder how many times we let each other down because we just have no idea how to minister to each other! I am so sorry!
I too feel like Joan & am sorry you felt isolated & alone. I can relate in a way as we didn't suffer a miscarriage, but infertility. When I shared exciting news of our upcoming adoption, a co-worker said "NO, you can never be a real mother without having had the pain!" I simply said, "Some of us suffer another kind of pain that maybe you cannot understand." I believe that was & is the case so often. People don't usually intend harm-they simply do not understand or feel inadequate in their ability to comfort. Please forgive us.
well, i will try again. i seem to have trouble w/ this blogging thing.
Oh, the comments are so beautiful they make me weep at the love expressed. Grace M was certainly rightly named. Joan & Pam you are right on target and i thank you.
As for the service i believe it is timely and needed, and a part of His much bigger plan. i do however sense there can be hesitation of some to come forward for fear of recognition and as expressed here for reopening old wounds.
i too have experienced decades of "stuffing" fear and pain and finally in the process of true healing came to terms with the absolute love of God, that none of this is intended for harm, not a part of His plan, but that His love is always there through it all, and even in it. and in the process of proper grieving & healing the years past became complete & whole.
agm5413
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